:x: wish you could live somewhere else:
I'd say yes, but I think it'd be really hard to live anywhere but here, I love this place
:x: think about suicide:
No comment.
:x: believe in online dating:
(Who here knows my history?)....I think it only works if it's a means to and end and not a general relationship status.
:x: think others find you attractive:
Not really.
:x: want more piercings:
Just a few more holes in my ears.
:x: like cleaning:
Not especially.
:x: like roller coasters:
Probably not.
:x: write in cursive or print:
It varies word by word.
For or Against ;
:x: long distant relationships:
Temporarily, I think it's too hard to be in a relationship with something abstract.
:x: killing people:
Let's face it, some people need killing.
:x: teenage smoking:
I started smoking at 14, so I really don't think I can comment.
:x: driving drunk:
Against
:x: gay/lesbian relationships:
Indifferent.
:x: soap operas:
They amuse me.
Have You ;
:x: ever cried over a girl/boy:
Christ, who hasn't?
:x: ever been in a fist fight:
Nope
:x: ever been arrested:
Nope
:x: ever had a friend die:
Yes
:x: ever dated a cousin:
Er...all my cousins are female and at least 15 years older than I
:x: ever used a gun:
Nope
:x: ever french kissed:
Ew....
:x: ever finished a puzzle:
Yeh, sure.
:x: ever got surgery:
Yeh, couple times.
:x: ever got beat up:
Nope
:x: ever hated someone:
Yeh...they deserve though.
:x: ever tried any drugs:
Only the prescribed variety.
:x: ever jogged a mile:
Not since I was 13.
:x: ever played with someone's feelings:
Nope.
:x: ever had feelings for someone younger than you:
Yeh....
What ;
:x: shoes do you wear:
Generally, Skechers, but I also have shiny red magic shoes that I wear a fair bit lately.
:x: are you scared of:
Spiders....plus a bunch of other things
:x: do you sleep in:
PJs
:x: did you eat for lunch:
Pizza
Number ;
:x: of times I have had my heart broken?:
Three
:x: of hearts I have broken?:
Zero
:x: of girls I have kissed?:
Um...
:x: of boys I have kissed?:
Um...
:x: of guys/girls you've rejected?:
Have I rejected? Hunny I'm the reject not the rejector...
:x: of drugs you taken:
Illegal? Zero.
:x: of accidents you been in:
I'm very accident prone. What kind of accidents? I was dropped on my head as a 3 week old, fell down my concrete steps at 4yrs, fell on the tile at the pool and broke my nose at about 4yrs, sprained my ankle about 5 times growing up, fractured my foot, broke my ankle...it goes on
:x: of people you lean on?:
Erm...none really.
:x: of people you broke up with?:
Technically none. Nate broke up with me first before I was harassed into dumping him. Ha!
Are You ;
:x: pretty: Hell no.
:x: funny: A laugh riot
:x: friendly: Hostile on the inside.
:x: ugly: Hell yes
:x: loveable: Not really.
:x: caring: Towards the people that deserve it
:x: dorky: Oh yes
:x: girly: Sometimes but generally not
:x: boyish: Not really
:x: smart: Sometimes.
:x: pimp: Erm...nope
:x: angel: Yes dammit!
:x: gangster: Definitely not.
:x: sire: Huh?
Favorite ;
:x: FOUR letter word: Too easy.
:x: comedian: Hrm...toughy.
:x: candy: Chocolate.
:x: cartoon: Care Bears!
:x: cereal: Lucky Charms...Emma brought me some from Cayman.
:x: chewing gum: Blech
:x: day of week: Wednesday
:x: least fave day: Thursday
:x: jello flavor: Raspberry
Last Person Who/That ;
:x: slept in your bed: Me
:x: saw you cry: Mum
:x: made you cry: Toria.
:x: you went to the movies with: Mum
:x: yelled at you: Emma "Auntie Ali do it!".
:x: sent you an email: My brother
Have You Ever ;
:x: said 'I love you' and meant it?: Of course.
:x: gone out in public in your pajamas?: Nope.
:x: kept a secret from everyone?: Yep
:x: cried during a movie?: Oh yeh
:x: ever at anytime owned new kids on the block?: Nope
:x: planned your week based on a TV guide?: Haha, yeh it's been done.
:x: been on stage?: Yep
:x: been to New York?: Nope
:x: been to Florida?: Nope
:x: Hawaii?: Nope
:x: China?: Nope
:x: Canada?: Nope
:x: Europe?: I live in it technically
This or That ;
:x: apples or bananas?: Apples
:x: blue or red?: Oh don't make me choose....PURPLE!
:x: walmart or target?: Walmart since we don't have Target.
:x: spring or fall?: Fall
:x: summer/winter: Winter
:x: trampolines or swimming pools: Pools
Lasts ;
:x: noise you heard?: Dr Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog....so effin' awesome.
:x: smell you sniffed?: Cloves
:x: time you went out of state/province?: erm....
:x: car ride: Yesterday to the hair salon
:x: talked to: Clare
:x: hugged a tree: A while ago
:x: ate: Dime bits.
:x: drank: Water
:x: yelled at: My mum for doing something she shouldn't have.
Friendship/Love ;
:x: do you believe in love at first sight?: Don't think so...lust definitely.
:x: do you want children one day and if so, how many?: Yeh....3 or 4
:x: most important thing to you in a friendship is?: Trust
Random ;
:x: criminal record?: Nope
:x: do you speak any other languages?: Just my own
:x: name some of your favorite things in your bedroom: Bed, movie collection, Tickle Me Elmo, iPod, artwork,
:x: worst feeling in the world?: Being betrayed by people that said they loved you.
Your ;
:x: nickname(s): Ali, Bunny, Willow, Lillow, Alicat...the list is endless
:x: how old do you look?: Hard to say, people say either about 19 or about 27....mmhmm
:x: how old do you act?: 3?
:x: glasses/contacts?: Glasses.
:x: braces: Nope
:x: do you have any pets?: Kitt the cat
:x: you get embarrassed?: Yeh
Love Life ;
:x: you love or like alot: Not really interested in anyone lately.
:x: who was the last boy/girl you kissed: erm...honestly? Don't remember.
:x: who was the last boy/girl you hugged: Emma!...she counts, right?
:x: how long have you been with your boyfriend/girlfriend: I'm single.
She really is a fabulously awesome little kid and I don't care if I'm boring people with my Emma worship.
Every time she does something cute or says something, I melt inside. I want to give her anything she asks for. She's a little ray of light.
I am so warm I can't breathe. It's getting really uncomfortable and nothing is making me feel better.
Off to bed.
Also, just briefly, I'm not fake in chat, 'fake' implies that I'm pretending to be something I'm not. I actually am a 24 yr old woman with social anxiety issues, an evil sense of sarcasm and a strange sense of whimsy (it's my new fave word). I'm not being fake, I'm simply being a different version of myself on screen than I am IRL. I have many facets, as do most people, and chat/internet in general is my outlet for one of those facets. So, um yeh, fuck off and die douchebag
So, me, Clare & Emma were in Next today (clothing store) and Emma picks up a pair of red stiletto heels, sits on the floor, takes her own shoes off and proceeds to put these very scary shoes on her feet. Very funny.
Getting my hair chopped off tomorrow, scary!
Night
xx
We went into the house and Emma (having had only 4 hours sleep the whole journey over here) immediately ran for the toy box that we'd filled for her. Pulled everything out and played very happily. I absolutely loved when she'd pick something up that needed to be taken out of the packaging or pushed to work and she'd say 'Auntie Ali do it'. I think it's that feeling that she knows I'm Auntie Ali that makes me a tad bit emotional. When you go through life feeling forgettable and get overable it's nice that a not even 2 year old recognises me, remembers me and wants me to play games with her.
Got lots of cuddles and giggles and noticing the difference in her from November. I was beginning to feel like I didn't really have a niece, y'know that abstract feeling you get when someone's far away.
I've already taken some pictures but I'll probably post them all in one fell swoop later on.
xx
xx
Ever kissed anyone who's name starts with J?
Nope
How do you feel about public displays of affection?
As long as you don't start boinking in public it's all good.
Do you like someone right now?
Nope
Can you keep a secret?
Yep
Do you trust people easily?
Nope. People suck.
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yep
Your dream last night?
Nightmares abound.
Are you missing someone?
Yep
Has anyone ever told you that they like you more than a friend?
Yep
Who's a girl that can always make you smile?
Emma
Is there anybody that you trust 100%?
Nope.
Are you wearing makeup?
Nope.
Are you close with any of your ex boyfriend/girlfriends?
Nope, not a single one of them talk to me any more. Despite them being very good friends beforehand. Douches. ...Rant over...
Anyone love you?
Family.
Do you think you were raised well?
Maybe.
Do you hide things well or do you have a guilty conscience?
I hide things well.
Do you think you could ever forgive someone who murdered a family member?
Probably not.
Do you think you know the meaning of true love?
Maybe.
If your parents didn't like the person you were dating, would you lose them?
No.
Would you rather be ditched or ditch someone?
Ditch.
Kids then marriage or marriage then kids?
Marriage first.
Do you spend time with the same people always...or new people?
Same people usually.
Do you see yourself as a "good" person?
I guess so.
Are you the type that would rather stay at other people's houses or have them at yours?
I have a thing about people in my space.
What would you like to say to the first person you kissed this year?
Um...I haven't kissed anyone this year.
Are you excited for the future?
Not especially.
Your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your friend, who are you mad at?
Both of them. They're both capable of making the choice to cheat.
What is the most common thing that you've been doing these last couple of weekends?
Watching TV with mum.
Have you ever actually broke someone up?
Like into little pieces?
Have you done anything you regret in 2008 so far?
Nope
Did anything embarrassing happen to you today?
Nope, although I did nearly fall over the cat and go flying. That would be embarassing.
Last time you showered?
Last night.
What will you name your future son?
Daniel Patrick.
What will you name your future daughter?
Isabella Rose
Where do you get your money?
I'm currently on disabled living allowance.
Ever talk to someone who was high?
Yep, it's annoying.
Do you have a Facebook?
Yep
Do you own a polo?
Nope
Are you excited for winter?
I love winter too
Are you mad at anyone?
Yep
Who is the last person to call you baby, or another "pet name"?
Erm..
How is your hair right now?
Tied up. It's getting chopped off next week!
Do you shop often?
Not really, I hate it.
Do you wear makeup?
Nope.
Was the first person you talked to today male or female?
Female.
When was the last time you cried really hard?
Last night
What's a happy time you've had in the past week?
Talking to Em
What are your plans for this weekend?
Get the house in shape for Monday.
1. what was your nickname when you were young?
My dad used to call me his Pineapple Princess...no clue.
2. At what age did you start to pay more attention to the oppossite sex?
I still don't pay attention to them, boys suck!
3. If you were to define yourself with one word, what would it be?
Weirdo
4. How many best friends did you have in school?
None.
5. Name three things that have made a great impact on your life.
1) My mother
2) My parents getting a divorce
3) Friendships
6. If you could change three things wrong with the world right now, what would they be?
1) I really shouldn't comment
2)
3)
7. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
1 older brother
8. What is the freakiest thing that you have ever done in public.
erm....
9. Name the strangest place you ever had sex.
erm...
10. Many years after you are gone, what do you think that you are going to be remembered for?
My strange weirdness
11. What's your best talent?
I don't think I really have any.
12. Do you hate anyone right now? Do you think someone hates you?
I hate one or two. Someone probably hates me
13. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
I kinda don't.
14. What is your favorite food?
Nothing at the moment
15. What word would you use to define your husband/boyfriend/mate?
non-existant?
16. How many/ what kind of pets do you have?
Kitt the cat.
17. If you could find a cure for 1 disease, what would you cure?
cancer.
18. What is your best feature?
Eyes maybe?
19. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
I don't drive.
20. Can you touch your nose with your tounge?
Nope.
Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
nope
Whats your relationship with the person you last texted?
friends
What are your plans for today?
Day's nearly over, but I spent it making a start in clearing out the spare room for Clare/Emma/Alister to sleep in.
Where was your default taken?
Caribbean
Are you in a relationship,single, crushing, complicated,married,or engaged?
Single
Do you have a flip or slide phone?
Neither.
Have you ever played hard to get?
Haven't most people?
Do you love anyone?
Sure
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes
Have you ever broken someones heart?
Nope
Who do you hate?
~ahem~
Do you have an iPod?
Yep, it's shiny and new.
Do you wish someone would call you right now?
Yeh.
Do you have any weird inside jokes?
lol sploitz. 'are you still here?'
Do you find piercings attractive?
depends.
How long has it been since you last liked somebody?
About a year. I know!
What's the worst abuse you have done to your phone?
Dropped it in a sink full of dirty dish water. It died.
Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
Probably. I haven't smoked in a year. I keep forgetting to be proud of that until I tell someone and realise that's fucking awesome!
Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
It's ok
Have you ever kissed in a pool?
Nope
Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
Don't think so
Do you miss someone?
Yes
If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
New York
Who is your best friends boyfriend/girlfriend?
Um...me no know.
Who have you texted in the last 48 hours?
Toria.
The phone rings; What do you say?
Hello
What is wrong with you right now?
I'll leave that alone
Are you mean?
Apparently I'm very mean. Rawr!
Do you fall for people easily?
Nope.
How is your hair?
Too long and heavy and hot and getting the chop very soon.
Who do you tell the most to?
Nobody.
Latest you stayed up in the past week?
7am
Have you been in a car accident?
Nope
Are you excited about anything?
Emma'll be here in 2 weeks!
Name something you CANNOT wait for?
Emma to arrive
Favorite number?
3
Things about the opposite sex you notice first?
height, eyes, hair
Do you drink enough water?
I do lately I'm so thirsty
What do you like most sunrise or sunset?
Sunset.
When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or the lights off?
off
Do you like to watch cartoons?
Sure
You sleep more on your back, front, or sides?
I shift around a lot.
1.
Song that always makes you sad?
Grand Theft Autumn
2.
Last thing you bought?
Nothing recently, I haven't left the house in a while
3.
Last person you argued with?
Mom
4.
Do you put Butter before putting the peanut butter on?
I don't use butter....
5.
One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid?
They never had names
6.
Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies Cd?
Nope
7.
Favorite day of the week?
Wednesday
8.
Favorite Sundae topping?
Chocolate sauce
9.
Do you play a musical instrument?
Nope, not any more.
10.
Most frequent song played?
Currently it's Daughter by Pearl Jam
11.
T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
No secrets, I happily share my geekdom.
12.
Would you rather play basketball or hockey?
Basketball
13.
Date someone older or younger?
Older
14.
One place you wish you could travel to right now?
New York
15.
Do you use umbrellas?
Nope.
16.
If you dont know the words to a song do you improvise?
I tend to go 'da da da da'
17.
Favorite Potato Chips?
Um...Doritos
18.
Favourite cheese?
Austria smoked
19.
Movies or TV?
Either
20.
Do you prefer Blondes or Brunettes?
I'm easy
21.
Best job you ever had?
er...
22.
perfect time to wake up?
10am...doesn't happen often, but I like it
23.
perfect time to go to bed?
Oh how I wish I could go to bed before 5am...
24.
If you get to 16 in blackjack,do u hit?
I don't play blackjack
25.
Ever been in a car accident?
No
26. closer to mom or dad...or neither?
Mom
27.
what age is this exciting life over for you?
Beats me, rather sooner than later to be honest.
28.
what decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?
60's
29.
Most prized possession you have?
Sadly, my laptop.
30.
Do you still wear a piece of clothing you wore during your childhood?
That'd be difficult.
31.
Were you in track and field?
Nope
32.
Were you ever in a school talent show?
I auditioned, but didn't go to the callback 'cos nobody told me.
33.
Have you ever written in a library book?
God no!...Sacrelige!
34.
Allergic to?
Nada, but mushrooms make me sick.
35.
Favorite fruit?
I just had a very yummy kiwi fruit, so for today it's kiwi.
36.
Have you watched sex and the city?
Yep
37.
Baseball cap or toque?
Er...
38.
Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?
Soap...I broke the law kitt
39.
Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?
Wet the toothbrush
40.
Pen or pencil?
Muticoloured pens!
41.
Have you ever gambled at a casino?
Nope
42.
Have you thrown up in a car?
~thinks~...nope, people generally stop to let me puke.
43.
Do you scream on roller coasters?
I don't do roller coasters.
44.
Whats your most missed memory?
...missed memory? If it's a memory and it's missing it's safe to say I don't remember.
45.
When did you go to your first funeral?
2002, when my Nana died.
46.
Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
Never been on a plane
47.
Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
I don't. That would involve having friends.
48.
Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
Toria's in 2006.
49.
What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Pee.
50.
First friend you ever had and are you still friends with them?
Jen and no, she's a *insert very bad word here*
51.
First celebrity crush?
I so don't remember.
1) What's a fact about the last person who you called?
I haven't called anybody in a very long time.
2) It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who do you expect it to be?
Probably someone from across the pond having trouble with time differences, a drunk T, an emerency.
3) What is your favorite thing to eat?
Right now, nothing, food = bleugh
4) Where was your default picture taken?
Somewhere in the Caribbean? Clare took it.
5) Do you wear a Cross?
Nope
6) Who was your last hug?
Mum
7) Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
Cold, definitely.
8) What do you currently hear?
The fan going whirr whirr whirr, birdies tweeting.
9) What do you think your best friend is doing right now?
Beats me.
10) What's your favorite Gatorade flavor?
Don't drink it.
11) What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed?
Patrick the monkey.
12) What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
'I fucking love you'
13) Who would be the first people to know if you got pregnant?
Um...God, 'cos it'd have to be immaculate conception.
14) How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
I'd like to say 25...but I'd have to get pregnant tonight if that were gonna happen.
15) What's the last thing you ate?
A cinnamon bun thing
16) Whats the last movie you saw?
The Orphanage.
17) Do you have Justin Timberlake music on your iPod?
Yes, yes I do.
18) What is something you are looking forward to in June?
I know something is happening I just can't remember what.
19) Can you sleep in jeans?
Sure
20) Something you just don't understand?
Men? Haha...
21) Where were you on July 4, 2007?
Fucked if I know
22) Who was the last person you were in a car with?
I....whoa, have no idea...I don't travel in cars.
23) Is there someone on your mind?
Yep
24) Do you say "dawg"?
Not usually
25) What was your first thought when you looked in the mirror this morning?
I didn't.
26) Do you care what others think about you?
Sometimes.
27) Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
I hope so, but doubt it.
28) What did you do last night?
Watched The Orphanage
29) What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
Seeing Emma.
30) How many people do you trust 100%?
zero
31) Who was the last person you called?
I don't call people
32) When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Last week?
33) Who was your last missed call?
People don't call me lol
34) When was the last time you got flowers?
Er...never?
35) Do you plan on moving in the next year?
Nope
36) Do you like the last person you kissed?
Not any more.
37) What are your plans for the weekend?
Pie.
38) What does the 10th text in your inbox say?
Don't know and my phone is in the other room so not checking.
39) Do you have a job?
No, no I don't.
This feeling of attractiveness was heightened when I was walking down the street after the evening was over and some really random guy called me sexy. And not in a 'I'm kidding' kinda way, that so often is the case -I'm a big girl...people tend not to find me attractive-
I was feeling pretty good about myself for a change. Until I get home, pop into chat for a quick peek and some random instant messages me and proceeds to comment on my display pic, a pic I happened to think wasn't so bad. So now I'm back to feeling crap about myself. In the space of three hours.
I know, some random idiot whom I've never met should not make me feel bad about myself. But it seems to be a pretty easy thing to achieve.
But I'm going to focus on the good time I had tonight, seeing friends I haven't seen in a while, being proud of myself for going out by myself and ordering drinks at the bar, which I never do -or at least haven't since I went crazy and stopped talking to people- yes, I did good.
And besides, who needs to feel attractive?
